WTF is Me Time

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Motherhood is a 24 hour a day job. Really, it never ends. From the time you roll out of bed until the time you crawl back in it a mom is working. Even after you are snuggled in the warmth of your blankets you are always ready to be called back in to action. Maybe a hungry baby awakens you from dream land, or perhaps it is a toddler needing one more hug or a sip of water. No matter the reason you must always be ready.  It is a thanks job, as well. Unless you count the thanks yous that are immediately preceded by the word, “what do you say?”

The constantness of it all often means mommy starts feeling a little frazzled. Following the frazzled feelings are often recommendations, from well-meaning bystanders, for “time for yourself.” Furthermore, you may here things like, “a happy momma means a happy baby,” or “you have to get some me time!” I know these people mean well, but “me time” is not a luxury that all of us can afford.

When should I schedule my me time, I wonder. Should it be after Lady Bug’s morning poop, or right before Wee Man wants his breakfast. No, that won’t work. Let’s try for lunch time. Maybe I can find a minute in between nursing the baby and pulling out the arm load of toys Wee Man tried to flush down the toilet. Crap, looks like early afternoon is out. Okay, maybe when daddy gets home. That’s it I will just have daddy watch them and I will get that me time. Well damn, is it still me time if I am listening to all of the kids crying outside of the door that “daddy is meeeaaannn!” And they nnneeeddd me? Oh well, I need to nurse the baby anyway so I’m not staying in my room.

First, me time, in my opinion, should be spent doing something you want to be doing. It shouldn’t he hiding behind a locked door, with your fingers in your ears chanting “I can’t hear them screaming” repeatedly.  Honestly, that is just added stress.  Second, I never heard my mother complaining about needing to have her own time. Have we gotten so far from family that we look at our time spent with them as moments getting in the way of what we wish we could be doing?

Sure, sometimes I have those “give me a break,” thoughts. I think we all do. But, when I go to walk out of the door I am bid farewell by the tears and screams of my two youngest children. Oh, how they beg me not to leave them. Should my me time be at the expense of my babies who can’t tell time and have no idea why I would need a break from them. After all, they never say how tired they are of me, or how badly they need to get out of the house.

Please, don’t misunderstand. I am not one of those parents that claims to not get stressed out by the day’s events here and there. I am also not complaining and then saying that their little smiles make it all worth it. As a matter of fact, when I walk in the bathroom to find the toilet over flowing and my son’s toys, which are circling the bowl, his little smile is the last thing I want to see! When I work my tired butt off to clean the house and the kids trash it immediately, I don’t care about those little toothy grins! I just want my house clean again.

No, I get over it. I just hate the idea of me time. Who made this up? Probably some one with a nanny or something. I don’t use the bathroom alone. I share almost every plate of food with someone. I run around exhausted with a baby on my boob, helping kids with homework, and entertaining my toddler simultaneously. It sucks sometimes. It is hard sometimes. Every once in a while I find myself mourning my pre-kid life. But, having children was my choice. Raising my children is my job. I love my job. I love my kids. One day they will be too busy for me. One day they will have school, friends, and activities to entertain them, and I will be but a source of funding and support. I think I will schedule my me time then.

I was going to be done with this post/rant but I wanted to add that I am talking about regular just “I am sick of these damn kids” me time. If you are depressed, really in need of help, or feeling desperate take a minute for yourself. If you need help, ask for it. Do not feel like a bad mom because you need a break! A sure sign of a great mom is being able to recognize when its all a little too much and getting the help you need!

Let’s Talk Cloth

Diapers that is.

I started cloth diapering my son three years ago, and have continued the practice with my daughter who is six months old. Here are some cool things I learned about cloth diapers:

> You can spend as much or as little as you want to start out.
> After your initial investment you are done with paying for diapers.
> You can sell cloth diapers when you are done with them. Seriously, I would love to see you try that with a disposable diaper!
> Cloth diapers are CUTE! I know that one disposable diaper company makes those denim looking diapers, but come one I don’t want     my son in something that resembles daisy dukes! Do you?
> Cloth Diapers are good for the environment.
> They are good for your baby’s butt.  You get to avoid the chemicals used to make something so trim hold so much liquid.

Even with all these good things it can be hard to know where to start. Let me explain some of your options then I will tell you my preference.

Flats. These are a big square of flat fabric that you fold to fit in a diaper cover. They wash and dry quickly and are pretty inexpensive. You can find a ton of instructions for folding on the web!

Prefolds. The are flats already folded. Again, these wash and dry quickly, and they are also pretty cheap. Stick them in a cover and you are good to go.

Pocket diapers. These are pretty nice for dads, daycare, and other situations where people may not be amped about folding a diaper. No cover required just stick something absorbent in the pocket made in to the diaper and voila! Done. These cost a bit more, and require a bit more care in the wash. Pocket diapers dry quickly and come in a lot of colors.

AIO. ALL IN ONES. These are as they say. There is no folding, stuffing, pinning or covering. This is the most closely related to the disposable in terms of ease. Again, the price is much higher than flats or prefolds, but you are getting a lot of convenience with these. The dry time is pretty long. There are a tone of cute colors though.

Covers. Covers go over a flat, fitted, or prefold diaper. They can be cute or basic. Some are PUL,and some are fleece. They can have velcro or snaps. The choices go on and on, but I will warn you that more expensive is not always better!

Soakers. I have seen both wool and fleece soakers. However, I don’t feel like fleece is a soaker because fleece repels the liquid similarly to PUL. Therefore, while fleece is great, I think of fleece in all forms as a cover. A soaker to me is wool. Wool absorbs the liquid but does not allow it to wick on to clothing. You can find wool covers that snap or velcro, longies (pants), and shorties (shorts). They come in a ton of colors or all natural tan. The care involved in wool soakers is a lot more than the other options, but is well worth it.

Wee Man in a green pocket diaper at the beach (2008)

There are other options as far as cloth but these are the ones I have used myself. For night-time I used to only use wool, but now for my daughter, I am looking to go another route. I will update you as I figure out what I am going to use.

My preference for cloth diapers is prefolds and covers.  I use prefolds everyday. I usually use a Snappi (wich is s rubber grabby thing that holds the diapers with out pins) when they are little and then just fold the prefold in to thirds and stick it in the cover when they are bigger.  I wash diapers every other day, and with 24 newborn sized prefolds I have plenty to make it on that washing schedule.  Yes, at six months old my daughter can still use newborn sized prefolds.  They have a trim fit and are super absorbent.

When I used pocket diapers I spent a lot of money only to turn around and favor the prefolds.  I ended up selling most of my pockets and investing in more covers.  I just hated having to worry about them getting less absorbent if I used too much detergent or not the right type.  I also didn’t find them to be as trim as prefolds.  I am currently looking for a few pocket diapers because I think most of my problem was the brands I used.  I am thinking there are some wahms out the that have something that will work for my baby and me!

The only problem, as I see it, is that cloth diapering quickly becomes addictive!  I always want to buy more.  I love the softness of some, and I adore many of the new designs and colors.

Right now, as I stated earlier, I am looking for ideas on a night-time diaper for my daughter.  I want an AIO or a pocket diaper.  I am also thinking I want fleece.  I think it  would be lovely to cuddle up to my baby at night and have her bottom covered in warm and cozy fleece.  So, I would appreciate any opinions on night-time diapers.

My adventure in cloth diapers has been great.  My baby is happy, and avoiding the chemicals added to many disposable diapers.  She is spoiled I know breastfed, cloth diapered, and held all night. Lucky girl!